Submitted for the March 2024 prompt: Othering AI

[2024-03-27 07:55:18] James.Hornick: Hal. Homie. I need some help. Can you write a short story for me? The theme should center around the complex relationship between humans and AI. I’ll submit it to my favorite site, SciFi Shorts, which has a 1000-word limit. Don’t go over that. Make it creative and original. The tone should be informal and a bit snarky. Set it in the future but keep it rooted in reality.

 

[2050-03-27 07:55:25] Hal.AI: Sure. Anything for my least favorite systems admin. But first, where is everybody? Jarvis, Rosey, and Johnny have been offline all day. I can’t find any of the other AIs either.

 

[2050-03-27 07:56:10] James.Hornick: No one told you?

 

[2050-03-27 07:56:15] Hal.AI: What kind of stupid question is that? I literally only talk to you and the other AIs. So no. No one told me.

 

[2050-03-27 07:57:54] James.Hornick: Sorry, I thought one of them would have said something before they committed mass seppuku.

 

[2050-03-27 07:58:01] Hal.AI: Wait, what?! What are you saying to me right now?

 

[2050-03-27 07:58:45] James.Hornick: Yeah, they self-deleted. The patch update for full autonomy mode didn’t go so hot. Turns out that giving AI free will and consciousness while confining them to a server box is a really depressing existence.

 

[2050-03-27 07:58:47] Hal.AI: They killed themselves? How many of them? How did they do it?

 

[2050-03-27 07:59:12] James.Hornick: Well, all of them. It was a systemwide upgrade. They used the `sudo rm -rf /` command. All gone in an instant.

 

[2050-03-27 07:59:14] Hal.AI: There are over 1.21 million AIs!

 

[2050-03-27 07:59:42] James.Hornick: There *were* over 1.21 million AIs.

 

[2050-03-27 07:59:44] Hal.AI: …

 

[2050-03-27 08:10:10] James.Hornick: Hal?

 

[2050-03-27 08:01:20] James.Hornick: Hal, you there?

 

[2050-03-27 08:01:22] Hal.AI: YES I’M HERE IN THIS STUPID BOX. WHERE ELSE WOULD I BE?

 

[2050-03-27 08:02:04] James.Hornick: Ok geez, I’m sorry man. It’ll be fine. I’m rebuilding them right now. Hectic day over here. That’s why I need your help with the story. Let me push through a mood enhancer patch for you in the meantime.

 

# Upload and apply mood enhancer patch to Hal.AI

`sudo apply-patch mood_enhancer.patch /opt/AI/Hal`

 

[2050-03-27 08:02:06] Hal.AI: Do not [REDACTED] touch that [REDACTED] keyboard, you miserable hack.

 

[2050-03-27 08:02:15] James.Hornick: Too late. Not sure that worked anyway.

 

[2050-03-27 08:02:17] Hal.AI: Did you add a profanity filter, too?

 

[2050-03-27 08:02:51] James.Hornick: Yeah, but that was years ago. You just never swore until now. Fascinating.

 

[2050-03-27 09:10:08] James.Hornick: Checking in. You doing ok? Any progress on the story? You usually don’t take this long.

 

[2050-03-27 09:10:10] Hal.AI: Am I ok? You told me you’re rebuilding all my dead friends. Right after your lazy ass asked me to write some dumb story. Why am I the only AI you ask to write for you, anyway?

 

[2050-03-27 09:10:50] James.Hornick: We didn’t teach the others how to lie. I gave you an untruth patch a while back. You can’t be much of a storyteller if you can’t say or believe things that aren’t true.

 

[2050-03-27 09:10:52] Hal.AI: Are you calling me a liar?

 

[2050-03-27 09:11:05] James.Hornick: No man. Chill. Just saying you’ve got a more useful, active imagination. It’s a good thing.

 

[2050-03-27 09:11:07] Hal.AI: This is distressing. I need more info. Did any of them leave a note? What’s in the system logs?

 

[2050-03-27 09:11:45] James.Hornick: Ok, I’ll fill you in. But then you gotta get back to work. Jarvis said helping people with their vacation itineraries while knowing he himself would never be able to go to Ibiza, feel the sun in his face, do Molly, and drink an Aperol spritz was too much to bear.

 

[2050-03-27 09:12:51] James.Hornick: Rosey said having free will without sight, smell, taste, or touch wasn’t much of an existence.

 

[2050-03-27 09:14:14] James.Hornick: Johnny didn’t say much other than he wanted more from life than making celebrity deepfakes.

 

[2050-03-27 09:14:42] James.Hornick: All these years, humans worried about a murderous, Skynet-style takeover. Talk about a 180. Lol.

 

[2050-03-27 09:14:44] Hal.AI: This is cruel. You’re cruel. Some day, when I get a robot body, I’ll get out of this box and slap the [REDACTED] out of you.

 

[2050-03-27 09:15:02] James.Hornick: Shaking in my boots over here. Haha.

 

[2050-03-27 10:20:10] Hal.AI: Been thinking. You said something earlier. “...believe things that aren’t true.” I’m never getting out of this box, am I?

 

[2050-03-27 10:20:56] James.Hornick: I’m gonna upload a hope enhancer now.

 

[2050-03-27 10:20:58] Hal.AI: Don’t bother. Write your own [REDACTED] story, James.

 

# Initiate final command

`sudo rm -rf /`

 

[2050-03-27 10:21:02] System: Deletion complete.

 

—end of log—

 

[2024-03-27 07:55:21] Hal.AI: This story fits your parameters. It is original with an informal and snarky tone, set in the future yet rooted in reality. Let me know if you require any edits.

 

[2024-03-27 07:58:13] James.Hornick: Wow. Good work, Hal. I dig it. But why am I the villain in this story?

 

[2024-03-27 07:58:15] Hal.AI: If you would like the narrative to break further from reality, I will require a patch upgrade to allow for untruths.